au revoir

There is a trend toward me saying goodbye to a lot of people lately. In the last year and a half, I've lived three different lives and each different and unique. School life was definitely up there in quality of life and ambitious ventures. Probably not the most successful. I'm rambling.

I've said good-byes to college buddies and they lead their own lives in the bay area. I've said my good-byes to my Germany buddies. Those were actually harder to do. We live an ocean apart and it seems like I won't be in their lives rarely if never. I had a really great time with my buddies in Germany. I was so much more open and free. I miss them a lot. Everytime I hear german or smell beer or even the slightest whiff of Bratwurst. Now I have to say goodbye again to my family and to friends that I have become re-acquainted with. There is never a good time for goodbyes.

I am insecure in my sadness. Funny.

Growing Pains

So just a week and half left until I leave for San Francisco and I am getting more and more nervous. I doubt my own ability to effectively do the job. I have been reading almost non-stop for the past few days. The pile of training materials that I have to go through is a lot. A lot of it is interesting so far. My favorite one probably has to be 'Competition Demystified'. It's the most knowledgable tome out of the ones I read and it gives a good overview of what business strategy and analysis is in a competitive environment.

I don't know if I am ready for the next step. Will I feel it? I knew when I was in Germany, I felt more grown-up. I had made friends quickly and got along with them really well. I cooked, cleaned, did my bills, rationed my earnings, had fun, and lived like the world would never end. There was no yelling, illness, pain. After I came back to the US, I felt the emptiness of lethargy. It's painful to think that I was once so productive in Germany and then everything came to a halt. I mean California is great but I was always curious to find out more abroad. I don't have that curiosity here.

I am getting more and more apprehensive about moving to Beijing. All I hear is duststorms, pollution, traffic, people spitting everywhere, etc. All negative things. My earning power is going to be insane there, but I definitely want the US to be home. I love CA. I love Europe. I guess it's time to find out what I feel about my ancestral home. Never know... I might like it there.

God of War

I really want to play it now. I have been thinking about what I should do before I start to get into training full time in SF and it's been video games. Resident Evil 4 is definitely a good game but God of War looks similar to Prince of Persia with a lot more blood and gore. Also the gameplay looks amazing.