Transcendental Happiness

My favorite year was 2005. School was not that stressful that semester and I loved my activities. I graduated that year. I got my degree and happily walked down the stage of the Greek Theater. But there was no greater joy than the beginning of using that degree. Touching down at Frankfurt International Airport was perfect. I loved the familiarity of German. The smell of fresh bread walking into Koenigstrasse for the first time in Stuttgart. Being there underneath the clear blue sky. My life was exactly how life should be. Carpe Diem. Live for today. Love your life and loving yourself. And I loved it.

So why the trip down nostalgia lane? I feel have reverted to a lesser state now. A state of uncertainty and confusion. What am I doing? Where am I going? After watching the 14e Arrondissement section of Paris Je 'taime for what could be the tenth time, I want that transcendental happiness back again. I want the security of knowing that I am okay. I hate that life is so confusing and so staid. Maybe this is just a battle cry for life or maybe just a whimper into submission.

Relearning German and the holidays

The holidays gives me a time to reflect back on my year so far. (Actually, I always do it... nevermind) The point is, it's the end of the year and a good time to evaluate what has happened in the year of 2008.

January - August
Work drama. Olympic, pro-China propaganda.

August
Olympics!

September - November
Hooligan travel!

November - Present
Getting fat and anxious. Job stuff is stressful even though I only really applied for two jobs.

This year all and in all has been a transition year. Unlike my transition of 2006, I did not sit on my ass in the house most days. The work drama of the first half of the year really came down to: do I see myself doing this line of work if I keep advancing along this career and do I really want to keep the faith in my life in China. No and No. I did not see a future that would achieve any goal that I would have wanted in China. China was toxic. Literally and figuratively. My lifestyle was not healthy. Eating out everyday is not normal. Working at all hours is not sane. The work/life balance just wasn't there. I would love to hang out with work people after work but not bring it with me after a reasonable hour.

The Olympics were great. A met up with a lot of friends and all in all a good time.

Traveling was fun although less exhilarating than Europe. I guess it's easier the second time around. Although, I am still afraid of India. Too many stories of culture-shock. Someday I hope. India would be a real adventure.

Which brings me to the point I am now. I love video games and I believe that game development is where I want to be. I love the art and complexity of a good story. To be able to tell an elaborate puzzle/riddle of a tale. That's where I want to be headed.

Germany is where I want to be headed. The more I think about Berlin, the more I miss it and want to be there. I have so many good friends in Germany right now. I want to go back. Maybe the picture in my head is too idyllic but I remember the good times right now. I am currently trying to re-read 'The Reader' in German (Der Vorleser) It's actually not that bad. It looks like I am having the same problems I did when I took German 3 and my German was pretty good back then. I'm just hoping to get back to German 188 level. Oh! I'm going to a screening of 'The Reader' on Thursday! I hope I can get seats!