A trip down middle school lane

So living at home unemployed for a better part of a year has its responsibilities. My cousin is currently going to Orange Grove (ha!) and yesterday was back to school night. Her parents wanted me to go since they spoke almost no English and wanted someone there who could pick up any important information. I felt no apprehension about going since most of my teachers were fairly old when I was there and have probably already left. *Disclaimer: I have the utmost respect for what teachers do and if anything they are the ones 'indoctrinating' children with their philosophy.*

Ok. We start with homeroom. My cousin's homeroom teacher is pretty nice no weird kinks or whatever. It's an ESL class what can I expect. Next we go on to history. Again no weirdness or nothing. But I do find out they have some sort of state exam now for graduation. What the hell!? And it's cumulative from sixth, seventh, and eighth grade. Okay so that rang up a warning to me since my cousin just arrived in the US. So talked to him for a bit about the test and how to help my cousin. Said he'll give her a handbook to study. Whatever.

*Side note: What the fuck is up with the student guides wearing cop uniforms? What a waste of money. Just make them wear a sign or make them hold posters or something. I thought that was embarrassing but not as embarrassing as the 'head' cop. We'll get to that soon.

Back to the night of classroom hopping. So this is where shit starts to get interesting. Her 'science' teacher is tightly wound up. It's all about the rules with her. Rules and rules and more rules. She said it's all about preparing them for high school. I was going to grill her after the presentation about her curriculum, if she's connecting with the high school science program, and if she's connecting with the engineering program. I wanted to bring down this blowhard. But buzz, the bell rang and it's on to the next teacher and I didn't care enough to go back.

Her 'english' teacher. Actually, quite nice, very peppy, and gives off a good energy. She looks like the portly girl from 'Hairspray' with about the same demeanor. But this is a blog entry about judgement so here we go. I asked her about what books they're reading this year and she just said whatever they bring in. I'm like "Huh? There is no assigned reading? Well aren't you lazy." A thought bubble didn't actually say that. Then I asked her to take a look at my cousin's personal novel and see if it's level appropriate (I gave her a collection of short stories from my college English class). And here comes the fake Cali smile. It's that smile you see when they are trying to be nice but really they just want you to get the fuck out. I've grilled her enough. I just told her I'll give my cousin a different novel.

Now for PE. Mac is gone but guess who's still there. Out and proud lesbian Ms. Fowler (I don't actually know this but with that lesbian bob.. come on.). She and the other PE teacher starts talking about etiquette and dress code. I noticed a third name on the slide, Mr. Duncan. From what I remembered, I heard a story about some inappropriateness in the locker room early in the morning. And then he wore those ridiculous short shorts during sports day or whatever event that was. But he wasn't there yet. So the two teacher keep going on about locks and lockers and in walks 60-year old roided up beyond Lou Ferrigno, Mr. Duncan. I gave a little gasp and had to stop myself from bursting into laughter. He was wearing the most heinous security guard outfit that was bursting at the seams. He walked up and gave out an invitation to a girl in the first row to fist bump. Clearly, uncomfortable the girl did it and the dad sitting next to her pulled her in closer to him. That's some funny shit.

We end with the 'math' teacher who is as tightly wound up as the science teacher. She isn't espousing preparing for high school BS but again with the rules. So, it seems that all eighth graders now take Algebra 1. Good for them.

So my cousin and I did share some similar classrooms. Her history teacher shares the same classroom Ms. Wallace had. That was homeroom and Algebra for me. I remember lots of card games with Kelly and Katy. Lots of games of Speed if I recall. Fun times. Her science room was my seventh grade science class. Didn't step in Wilda-beast's room but doubt she's still there. Her math room was the Spanish teacher's room.

In closing, her ELD, History, and English are fairly nice. Science, math, and, of course, PE a little too much anal retentive and not enough of the absinthe. Orange Grove looks the same but it's definitely different in how it's run with the exception of the slightly mentally retarded stragglers. Wait.. that includes me.. Fuck it. I own my unemployment.